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Older and Wiser
By Tamika Morris
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Memories struck her as she heard the hit from the 90's
play. She realized she was one of those people who
look back on their school days now, not one that was
still having them. It made her 'mixed' gladness but
sadness as well. She remembered the circle of friends
she once had and now only one remained. Events
breaking the life times friendships that should have
been were so small but big enough. She reached out
and clicked the keyboard writing to her lost friends.
She'd always keep their emails addresses, and phone
numbers for that matter, but using something is a lot
harder than keeping it. The longest letter unfolded
before her as she realized just how much has happened
in a short while. Not all good. Not all bad, just life
she supposed. Different to what her imagination had
led her to believe... disappointing at times. But then
far better than the crazy ideals of Hollywood she had
always envisioned for herself... foolish dreams. She
knew the realness life can bring. And that there are
different dreams to go for... she saw all her points of
view in the letter before her... not yet address to
anyone just her life so far. Reflecting, it seems only
yesterday these things happened could it really have
been so long. She supposed that's where the
expression "life is short" came along. Not in the
moments that drag out before you but in the memories
that seem to cloud together. Moments in her life she
wished she could forget others she wished she could
better recollect.
Was this growing older, remembering the past and
growing, or moving forward despite? Was growing
getting over those people you once knew the ones that
were always with you? Why must we give them up, why
must that be a signal that you getting older you let
go of things that once matter so hugely to you. And
settling. Settling. That was getting older, because
you didn't go for those silly dreams when you could
have, could have actually achieve them, but you didn't
cause older people called them just that, dreams! And
now older she must deliver that same messages to
younger that they are just dreams and to settle. This
was the cycle that would continue, kids letting go
cause of no encouragement, letting go of such
importance to get on with everyday life which is not
fulfilling just filling in the days until you're so
old and full of regrets you can't even move anymore...
She addressed her letter and sent it to all her old
friends, not missing a single one... foolish dreams of
them returning her email were not so foolish as one by
one they did. Her eyes were set upon different lives
and different events, and only one who was still
struggling to achieve his original dream. But she
didn't discourage she was proud someone had stayed
true. If for no other meaning, the meaning of life is
to be happy to live. How can settling be living? How
can letting go be living. So many thoughts a simply
song had brought and she tried to find the original
thought that had gotten her typing in the first place.
Ah yes... "I wanted to be a singer when I grew up, this
song was what inspired me" she remembered. As she
looked around the office around her with an air
conditioner that made thumping sounds, and coffee or
home brand Variety, she thought this wasn't the life
that was imagined.
But I guess this is getting older
