Beneath a seraph’s façade

lies the true fiend

By Abdulla Bin Hamad

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It was a rainy night; stern windstorms constantly kept striking the surroundings of his house, he was sitting near the fireplace wordlessly having some tea. For some reason a mysterious uneasiness haunted his unruffled soul, these repetitive echoes derived from the wind speed flowing though tree branches persistently hitting the windowpane…distressed noises telling him…his fate was going to change forever. Suddenly he perceives a deafening sound of something that collided to a close, solid surface. He grasped his raincoat & hurriedly went to find out that there was a car crash, it was awful; the vehicle went right through the wall of his neighbor’s residence. They were away for a trip to a foreign country or something…anyway…he distinguished a dying person though the driver's window, attempted to open the door but…locked, back doors? Locked! He went around & opened the front passenger’s door…damn it! There’s no use…he grabbed the crowbar that was close by…& started to force-open it…until he finally succeeded…. shit…there was blood, miniature portions of the shattered windscreen in all places; there was a middle aged female suffering severe hemorrhage along with some broken bones. I think…there were some vital signs & she was breathing…but difficultly…he leisurely took her out of the automobile, cradled her head & covered her with his raincoat, the weather was damp & harsh it made it hard for him to carry her indoors, she just uttered a few words that explained much…she said her daughter is in the back seat…& that she was ill with fever, he told her not to talk too much it would weaken her more. With that frail tone She said that the girl had no family no relatives to look after her …he advised her not to worry, everything will be ok, she just must hang on with what vigor she has left…there was this fading look in her eyes as raindrops gently landed on her face…he saw my reflection on her gleaming eyes, at that moment everything around me just froze time just stopped. I was enclosed in this circle of destiny & as she said her last words: please take care of…& mutely the essence of life instantly rose to the skies of obscurity, may you rest in peace he answered back knowing that he was sealed with an eternal pledge. Dropping the motionless body, taking his raincoat off of her & hastily went her back to the dented, damaged vehicle. In the rear seat laid a young girl coughing & sneezing, roughly ten years old of age. Fortunately she had her seat belt on which confined her from serious injuries. Her mother must have been in hurry forgetting to put her own seat belt. He told her that he was a close friend of her mother & that I was going to take care of her. Strangely she reacted positively; her instinct told her that this man is worthy of her trust, he carried out, covered her with the raincoat & took in his sedan, subsequently he searched her mother’s body for the doctor’s prescription since he’s going to take her to a clinic close by to get her treated, he found it drenched & worn to shreds. He just embarked his vehicle & drove to the clinic. At some point in she short cruise he asked her about her name & confirmed her age. Jasmine, 12 years old she quietly responded with a chaste intonation & a timid look on her face, a charming name my dear he replied then said Alas we had to meet in a situation of such whilst he stepped on the gas, as they arrived he carried her into health center, opportunely there were no patients so he directly we to the doctor’s office. He told her that he’s her guardian & that she’s ill with fever, the doctor checked her & then told him that it wasn’t serious she just need to take some meds & she’ll be in good health. He thanked him, shook his hand & obtained the proper medication from the nearby pharmacy then went back home. He gave her the remedy, & as he put her to sleep. He told her: I know you’re going to sleep in a different place tonight…I hope it’s warm & comfortable for you. With a contented smile she told him goodnight. But the hours of darkness were far from over. He then walked through the door way & to the drizzly outdoors, as he had to bury Jasmine’s mother since he left her under the harsh weather, He went to the tool shed & rummaged around for a spade, acquired it & went towards the corpse with every unsteady step he took his hands never stopped quivering. He couldn’t think of anything at that time but just dig the grave & get this over with. He placed the deceased in a wheelbarrow & moved her at the rear side of the house near a dead tree. He started breaking up earth & with every hit he ripped the rough roots of the tree. His mental condition was in a obstinate state as he kept thinking of how she died in his arms, the though kept or replicating itself over & over then he just dropped the shovel, fell on his knees & wept …as if he’s responsible for all the calamity that just happened. Were his tears shed because he had to lay a deceased person to rest? Or because a young girl just lost her last family member or maybe he just need to unshackle the nervous tension & pressure?

Past these few moments of unspoken grief he recuperated his strength & stood back up thinking that the time of pain & unforgiving circumstances is where real men endure & carry on. He dropped the corpse in the sinister gap & roofed it with soaking soil & dead undergrowth. It was an extraordinarily tiresome day for him & he desperately needed some rest & definitely some peace. He was soaked to the skin & didn’t bother to change his clothes, just fell on the sofa & entered the realm of unconsciousness. 

Five years have passed since that day…now he’s 25…& she’s 17… recollecting these memories of how he took care of her as if she’s his from his own blood…the closest person he never had. He taught her Arabic as a second language since English was the only language she knew. That unique way in which she expressed amusement when pronounced a word in the wrong way, she had an exceptional place in his heart, a spot where no other person could ever reach…she grew before his eyes into a fine young woman, year by year, month by month, day by day…her features shaping in heavenly prettiness how she was gorgeous, dear god her beauty it was sheer perfection…that body she possessed an angel not a human, teeming with youth & flawlessness her long black hair, about length of her waist…its color richer than the darkest night& her complexion was so true like a morning light, her eyes….oh those beloved eyes which resembled crescent moons, that way they shimmer as if they had tears in them…a mere look at such purity captures one’s soul, she also had a coy character…between a moment or so her cheeks turn scarlet red, each time blooming like a flower but with magnificence that exceeds a whole field of flora, & how she used to bite her lips when she’s thinking or bemused…brings one down on his knees…I miserably fail to even come close to describing  her unusual splendor…beyond belief. He always had this look of indulgence & affection in his eyes & used to smile at her & enfold her in his arms. He was considered to her as a father…or a big brother…a guardian. It never went further. But his feelings for her were not at all the same…days passed, & time flowed…his obsession grew more intense. How could he allow himself to think like that? Sometimes telling himself…he’s a human with emotions & thoughts but it wasn’t right. Every time he looked into her eyes…he recalls his refection in her mother eyes looking back at him. How it caused much heartache to him. How could he be such beast to seize her daughter’s innocence? It drove him crazy, like a fiend residing in him, in his sick, absurd mentality groaning endlessly, vehemently wanting to consume her innocence, to hurt her, clashes between him that brute never reached a closing stage. He wanted to protect her from his own selfish desires. Ceaseless pain he had to undergo. He had to keep his mind stable…as the chains of his sanity were bound to split if he doesn’t do anything about it. But there were times where he kept talking to himself saying: Iam a handsome, lonely man & she’s a beautiful young woman…why not?  What is the mistake? What could be the consequences? To what extent can a man’s blind selfish wishes reach? Unbelievably untold… Misplayed

Sensations. Mystification reducing his frame of mind into a profound abyss. He lives with her in the same place, sees her untainted youth everyday hears her chaste voice, those sweet expressions that elevates one’s heart. He couldn’t he ruin such blessing. Could he just leave her unaided & move away to some far off land…no…could he just admit his defeat to the fiend inside of him…. Also no…his frown explains anguish .He had to some how find salvation from this pointless infatuation. He tried to be more strict with her, and had fewer conversations. Tried to avoid her company as much as his consciousnesses could reach. When you’re a lonesome young man who needs pleasurable company & with an irresistibly attractive young woman it’s not easy to have power over such implausible temptation…mentally…& more importantly physically!

Day after day he prayed to god…asking for kindness for empathy. The love he had for her was indistinguishable…because when you search for your heart & find it in between another person’s hands…is that love? Do you love someone to the greatest extent that you want express your feelings in everyway to them? Is that what he wanted he to render her? A Man’s love? Or is the fiend within him who is the actual benefiter?. Love is when your fondness for someone reaches a level where you want to shield them the evil that reeks in this cruel world…sometimes protect them from your own self. For months he subsisted an endless confrontation of suffering   She didn’t know what exactly was going on, she felt like he was bodily with her but internally he was nowhere to be found. He implored to god kneeling, begging for clemency & compassion because he didn’t want to end up hurting a naïve young woman. As time passed his feelings diluted, & his craze for her lessened. His prayers were finally answered & redemption was his grant.  And One day in February, which was Valentines Day & coincidently jasmine’s birthday, he took her in his sedan & drove to the coastline. Before the sunset they both stood. Gazing at skies as the red sun & the strong waves frequently hitting the rock-hard platform. As the twilight took place & the day ended. She shivered from the wintry zephyrs. He gave her that same raincoat he wore 5 years ago & embraced tight. The flames of his passion started to blaze in his sinister eyes, as he looked at her with that same look of indulgence & affection. At that point the couple were at a very close proximity of each other as they drew closer to each other…there’s one question…is that man possessed with the fiend or…? conclusion will his manhood be nourished?

Author: Abdulla Bin Hamad

E-mail: slayer_abud@hotmail.com