The Long Road Home

By Jamie Nicole White

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Chapter Seven

            Elizabeth held onto the frail hand of the man she had loved more than half of her life. To look into the pale face of her husband made it more than hard to believe that he was slowly slipping away. His face was sunken in from excessive weight loss, his body only a shadow of former brilliance and breathtaking strength. Dark circles shaded the underneath of his eyes and his chest rose up and down with each struggling breath he inhaled.

            Her eyes wandered over him, taking in the tubing and equipment that he was hooked up to. An IV was attached to his hand, a heart monitor beeped rhythmically in the silence, and a clear tube that fed him oxygen through his nose. He was asleep and Elizabeth was amazed at how peaceful he looked. Walter had not been able to get any rest since the doctor had told him that he didn’t have much time left. He had spent himself on trying to make every last moment count. There were the Saturday morning fishing trips that he had been going on with Jake every weekend since Christmas. Thank goodness for Texas winters because the temperature wasn’t too cold for them to take their routine excursions. Then, there were the walks that they had shared together. They had talked of old times and shared many laughs over their reminiscences.

            Walter had tried to conserve as much energy as he could, but he just felt like there were too many things to do and so many words to say to take the time to rest. That was probably what had landed him in the hospital. But Elizabeth hadn’t had the heart to tell him to slow down. If the roles were reversed, she too would be doing everything she could to savor each last moment.

            Elizabeth’s world had stopped the day she had heard that Walter had cancer eight months ago. She had thought the very worst things. What if they hadn’t caught it in time? What if he died? The words he had spoken the day after Christmas were like a nightmare coming true. At first, she thought that she would climb into a hole and die right with him. But self pity was undeserving of her at a time when Walter needed all the support and love that she could provide. She had turned herself into his source of strength. And in turn, he had become hers as well. They had dealt with the inevitable over the last two months together. Because of that, she knew that when the time came she would be able to let him go. However, Elizabeth wasn’t expecting the end to be so near.

            Suddenly, she noticed Walter’s eyes flutter open and she leaned down instantly, smiling her most amazing smile. Elizabeth felt him squeeze her hand and fought very hard to fight back the unshed tears that were threatening to spill from her eyes.

            “Hello sleepy head,” she chided in her sweetest voice.

            “Hi,” Walter’s hoarse voice replied weakly.

            “How are you feeling?”

            “I’m fine. Just a bit tired.”

            “I’d say. You’ve been sleeping for the last few hours.”

            He simply nodded. “Is Jake on his way?”

            “He is. I called him a little over an hour ago. He should be tearing in here any minute now.”

            “Did you make the other phone call I asked you to?”

            “Yes.”

            “Good. Is she coming home?”

            “Yes. She’s coming home.”

            “Good.”

            “Jake won’t be too happy to see her.”

            “I suppose he won’t. He’ll just have to get over it.”

            “He’ll just have to get over it? Have you met your son, Mr. Tucker? He’s as stubborn as a jackass.”

            Walter chuckled softly. “Stubborn or not, he won’t be able to argue with a dying man.”

            Elizabeth’s expression turned somber.

            Walter lifted his hand to her face and caressed her cheek with his thumb. “I’m sorry, Lizzie.”

            “It’s okay.”

            Just then, the door behind them opened and in walked Jake, looking tired and haggard. His shaggy brown hair was disheveled and deep circles were embedded underneath his eyes. He rushed over to his father’s side and stood beside of his mother, staring at the fallen man before him. Jake had never seen his father look so worn out. He was pale and fragile and Jake could feel the tears burning the back of his throat.

            “I’m glad you’re here, Son.”

            “What happened?” Jake asked with concern etched on his brow.

            “I overdid myself a little too much and passed out. The doc says I should be able to go home in a few days.” Walter noticed the look on his son’s face, could read his mind. So he answered the unspoken question. There was no use denying the truth. “I don’t have much longer, Jake. I just want to go home and be with my family.”

            Jake nodded his understanding. Noticing his father’s lids getting heavy, he said his good-byes and led his mother outside of the room. Once on the other side of the door, he turned to his mother and asked her the one question that was burning his mind. “How bad is it?”

            “It’s bad, Jake. The doctors are only giving him a few more weeks.”

            “A few more weeks?”

            “The cancer is spreading. It’s only a matter of time before his vital organs shut down.”

            “You seem so calm,” he replied a little too brusquely.

            “And what do you suppose I do? Should I act the widow’s part before he actually is gone?” When he didn’t answer, she laid her hand on his shoulder. “I am going to take each day that I have with him and make memories that will last me for the rest of my life. I suggest you do the same. It will do no good for us to mourn for him now. He needs his family and he needs something to take with him as well. You and I must be strong for his sake. Do you understand?”

            “I understand,” he answered solemnly.

            “Good. Let’s go home and get you unpacked. We have a lot to do before he comes home.”

            Wordlessly, she led her son away.

¨¨¨¨

            Jake woke up the next morning, disoriented and had to glance around his old room twice just to make sure he wasn’t dreaming. Once he was satisfied that he was truly awake and hadn’t dreamed the night before up, he climbed out of his childhood bed and stretched his long limbs. His head was throbbing, just a reminder of the bottle of Jack Daniels he had consumed the night before. Usually he would have never driven while so incredibly inebriated, but the call from his mother had sobered him up more than enough. He fumbled through his hastily packed duffel bag and finally found a pair of pants and slipped into them clumsily.

            He walked out of his room while tugging on the wrinkled white t-shirt he had been able to pull out with the jeans. A loud commotion was echoing from downstairs and Jake ran down the steps, taking two at a time. When he reached the bottom, he found his mother helping his father walk through the den.

            His voice made both of them jolt as he asked, “What the hell?”      

            Walter was the first to turn to his son. “Good morning to you, too,” he teased in a weak voice.

            Elizabeth glared at Jake as she continued to help her husband through the den. “He bugged the doctors so much that they told me to come pick his grumbling ass up. Now, help me get him to the spare room down here and into bed,” she commanded.

            Jake didn’t hesitate. He quickly raced to his father’s other side and assisted his mother in walking him to the bedroom. Walter made a fuss but they were able to get him in bed effortlessly. Jake was amazed at how much weight his father had lost since he had become so sick. He was feather light.

            Once they had him in bed, they both left him alone to rest, sensing that he was tired from such a simple exertion. Jake followed his mother into the kitchen and wordlessly grabbed a mug from the cupboard. He stood beside of his mother and stared at her sideways while he poured himself a cup of coffee.

            Finally, she threw her hands up in the air and snapped, “What?”

            “Is he ready to be home?”

            “Physically, no. But the doctors thought he needed to be here.”

            “Can we take care of him?”

            She swallowed hard. “There’s a nurse from Hospice coming this afternoon to meet him. Then, she will be here everyday until…” Her voice broke off as it became caught on a sob.

            Jake didn’t try to ease her pain with words. They wouldn’t have done any good. Instead, he set the coffee mug aside and pulled her into his arms. Elizabeth Tucker cried in a way Jake had never seen. Her body shuddered as her sobs erupted violently. He fought back his own urge to cry along with her. Jake just held onto his mother until her weeping quieted.

            Finally, Elizabeth pulled away from her son and looked at him with red rimmed eyes. “Thank you,” she whispered softly.

            “For what?”

            “For being here. For letting me cry on your shoulder.”

            “I have two at your disposal at any time,” he teased in an attempt to lighten her mood.

            Elizabeth chuckled as she wiped the tears from her cheeks. “I haven’t been able to cry since that day your father told us. I didn’t want to cry in front of him. This is hard enough to deal with. He doesn’t need me being an emotional wreck.”

            “What are we supposed to do? Pretend that everything is okay?”

            “When we’re around him, we make every moment count. We mourn when he is gone. In the meantime, what we do in the privacy of our own rooms is our business.”

            “I understand.”

            The doorbell chimed loudly, echoing through the eerily quiet house. Jake glanced at his mother with one brow raised inquisitively. “Are you expecting someone?”

            She pretended not to hear his question as she busied herself by the stove. “Would you get that, please?”

            Jake merely shrugged before he strode to the door and carelessly threw it open. The wind left his lungs as he found himself staring into familiar emerald green eyes. Her gaze met his and held it before she looked away with an obvious discomfort.

Continued