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Crossing The Horizon

By Khaled Alnobani

On June 1, 2001, Saeed Hassan Alhaotary performed a suicide attack in the Dolphine club inside Tel Aviv in Israel. He used a strong point in Israel security – the collaborators – to attack it. Saeed entered Palestine at 1999; that is nearly two years before the attack. Alqassam Brigades, the military wing of the Palestinian organization   Hamas, admitted that Saeed was prepared in Jordan and that meant mentally and emotionally. The idea of suicide bombing extended itself to reach Muslims killing Muslims. What is described in this story applies to Saeed as well as many others who wait for someone to push the trigger. Modern politics is based on potentials - if I have the potential to kill somebody, then he is dead when I have a gun, not when I shoot him. We should accept America's endeavors to spread democracy but we do not accept forcing results. The Islamic organizations have their share of the Muslim youth so if the moderate ones did not get them then the fanatical will.

There is a fine connection between sunrise and sunset. It is not merely that one is the reverse of the other, it is more connected, the same amazing colors, both are the beginning and the end of long periods. Do they stimulate the same beauty detectors of the mind? Or can we say the brain, as some modern scientists think that there is no mind, only brain processes instead.
She sat in front of her room. The roof was made of plates of metal. She was in the camp waiting for her boy – one of her pearls - to come and appear before her, coming from the school. Counting on her life not her death, her children always await  her, expect her, long for her and that which she counts on.  The view of life is different from other places; the camp is a terribly poor place, full of poverty. She does not expect much from the others but she does what she must do. There was a stream of dirty polluted water in front of her; the polluted water crossed the camp between its sides. That water came from what one can hardly describe as houses. Insects fill the place in summer and usually a hot summer comes in Jordan. There was a piece of every person in that stream. It was not covered.
 Where does the money of the government go? Is there a scarcity in resources? If so, then from where do those billionaires of this country get their wealth? There are limited resources for a below average person like this woman.  She is like them. What is the difference? The difference is that she does have anything in her hands. If there is something that she knows very well, she knows how to listen and pay attention, especially to her small children. Many times, she has given them a piece of herself in every word.
Every word is a different place. Every word is a different case; she tries to teach them that. She prepares them for a time to come, for a future full of life. She went through many things before their birth. It was a terribly miserable life. She was an orphan. She suffered greatly because of her stepmother who prevented her from studying in a school and warned her father not to try to teach her. Her husband is alive but she seldom sees him, only once every few months. He was working in a company before he joined the free business where he is now. He keeps traveling to support their living. In rain, wind, cold winter, icy freezing weather, hot summer, he always works. If he stopped working, where would he get money for his children, for whatever they would eat or wear? He is the only one who cares about them. He will never give them his back.
Generally, the camp is a dangerous place. Many times there are quarrels, blood, knives and blades. They hide the knives under their clothes and the blades in their mouths! The first thing that is usually learnt is toughness.
 With time everything turned to be real. It seems that there is no going back or return. The children did not know their homeland, Palestine. They never had been to it. They only have dreams, but even dreams seem to have been taken, stolen from them. After school the children went to play. In a limited place they collected themselves in non planned groups and every group chose a game.
For the refugees the situation in Jordan is better than other countries like Lebanon, where the situation is a real tragedy. There, one cannot own property or even have suitable work. It is trouble and suffering. Every Palestinian is a different person, waiting for the nothingness to reflect bad situation into good future. What new could happen? Can they make Israel have good hospitality for them? What is worse? Dying in Palestine or seeing their children in misery on an Arabic land. Their situation tears at any good heart, especially that they do not have anything but tears.
Different organizations tear at the Palestinian families. They are very serious about that. There are many organizations and many leaders. Many visions, every vision plans for a different future, and every future has its supporters and defenders. Palestinians are defiant in many things such as mind manipulation, but can they make their dreams come true? Israel killed every person who can do that. It assassinated every person who can make a difference and what does Israel have left?  Toys, only toys.
The small child's name was Saeed.  He wasn't the oldest amongst his brothers. He listened to many Palestinian songs from the radio and from his mother. The new songs usually mentioned the different organizations and sometimes members of them. His mother’s songs mentioned only Palestine, its land, mountains and plains. Saeed liked a song written by the poet Togan about three Palestinians who were hanged during the British occupation. It is a heartfelt song, with a sad tune “The red Tuesday,” Palestinians had and will continue to have great men who sacrifice their lives for God’s sake and they will continue writing very beautiful songs about them. The songs made it easy to accept death for the sake of God in Palestine.  Although his mother compensated a little for him, the young boy dreamed about his home.  As he grew up, he realized how much he had been abandoned, deserted, discarded, dumped and neglected in this camp without his father. Nevertheless, what more they can do?
Palestinians are talented, smart, clever and intelligent people. They can build their realm almost anywhere and the restrictions put by laws in some Arab countries to limit their activities are the strongest clue. Palestinians do not forget what happened in the past. What the Arab countries have done is more painful than what the Zionists have done; at least Zionists are the enemy. Do Arabs really deserve thanks for accepting Palestinians between them? Was not it better to give them real weapons from the huge Arab-inherited wealth to defend themselves and protect their land?
There was a well-known example in Arabic language to demonstrate the Science of Meaning.  A tribe attacked a family. The cousin went to his cousins who were attacked and he offered them his spear.  They did not want his spear, for they wanted him to fight beside them. They said a piece of poetry. The Arabic language will never forget in its Science of Meaning, they said” Our cousin came to offer us his spear; your cousins have spears”. Arabs did not even offer working spears.
The family left Palestine on June 1967. A shameful war at a hard time. They came to Jordan. Ever since they were treated as refugees, as nobody. How to manage their life?  How to manage the future of the children? What future awaits them? Is there any way through? Many questions like these arose in the heads of the fathers and the mothers. They remained without any answer. Not all members of the families left Palestine. Some members remained at the West Bank and 1948 occupied territories. Those turned out to be a real threat to Israel, and there have been few solutions for that which included the transfer to Jordan. However, the policies taken by the kings of Jordan prevented the transfer because any transfer in huge numbers of refugees may or may not change the regime in Jordan. This may is very fearful because bloodshed will grow at the East Bank. At first, the refugees depended on the UNRWA. However, that could never be a future. UNRWA schools were good enough to satisfy the basic needs of the children, the learning. But that was not everything.
The scene of the mother waiting her child was inspiring. What she could be frightened of after what she had seen with her own eyes in Palestine? Nothing - human life is worthless, but is the future worthless too? This could never be. If we lose our land we will not lose our future, our children’s life. It is not easy, but we will not be a victim forever, whatever happens.
West Bank was part of Jordan in 1967. Despite the fact that the situation in Jordan was the best for the refugees, a few meters to the West Bank can change whole lives. The mother and father thought of all of this and more, but what they could do except affirming and emphasizing the projection of the reality in mind?  They must think of all of that because the first question usually asked in any place in Jordan is, “Where are you from?”  The answer decides every thing after that.
-“Now, we have studied the first unit of our curriculum. I want all of you to understand it very well, because it is an important unit,” The teacher said to the classroom in the school.  She added:
-“You will learn Arabic grammar at all grades and you should get to feel it. Not only memorize it. The Arabic language is usually written without the grammar signs, so you must know how to read correctly without any hesitation or help.”
 Saeed was physically present in the class, but he was not mentally there. He was somewhere else. Looking through the planes behind the window, he always liked looking upon the green. The mother thought about Saeed, his brothers and sisters. Would they join those organizations? If they did so, she would lose them forever. What would happen to her daughters if they do so? Questions anyone can answer.
Many of those organizations think of the girls as if they exist for beds only. How her daughters will be treated by such people? Will they find somebody to marry them? What she was thinking of was the last thing in the minds of the revels and the revolutionary machine. What is the importance of the honor of a girl or a family if the whole home is taken?
At a distance, Saeed appeared walking with another boy. His walk was firm and decided, at if in a straight line.
-“Who is this boy you were walking with?” Saeed’s mother asked.
-“He is the son of Abo Fathi,” Saeed answered.
-“O, Not Abo Fathi. I do not want you to walk with this boy,” She tongue-lashed her boy. She knew how Abo Fathi was bad. He manages to send the young boys away with different ways.
-“No we will not be a victim and let him swallow and eat us,” she assured herself. She was certain of that.
Abo Fathi liberates Palestine by his own ways; he has a magical way in affecting the young and convincing them of his beliefs. He thinks that this is a mission set by God, to lead the young and guide them in the way to serve their nation. Always he is the one who is left behind. There is nothing personal. He is only a recruiter. He sends the boys and turns his back to them. The nation awaits the results of his work. Only he and the like, who truly realize what they are doing, feel justified because they stay alive. To them, the rest are dead.
When a stranger goes around in a community like the camp, he attracts attention very easily.  One day a stranger came to the camp. No one saw him there before. He asked about Saeed’s mother. She remembers that stranger very well. When he came to her he told her in a very plain way that her husband had died in a mission against Israel and he had a will. He gave her a piece of paper.
-“I cannot read. Can you read it for me?” she said.
-“It is written here: By the name of Allah most merciful, most beneficial, I am the living martyr who died for the sake of his country. I ask my wife and my children not to cry and to serve their home Palestine and fight for it”.
He had stopped reading when she collapsed. She did not tell her children the news. The stranger was watching her closely to detect her response. She did not think of collecting people upon him because they were watching but not hearing. Some people were curious enough to ask, but she did not answer. The stranger gave her his back, and went away.
After a week or so, Saeed’s father returned to his home and she realized how cruel and pitiless the strangers had been. Saeed’s father was in Turkey and he brought with him pistachio. There was a large quantity, and Saeed had never seen so much. Pistachio is very expensive in Jordan. Saeed ate that day until there was no place for more. The place was very small and the father could only be alone with his wife for about a minute.
Saeed’s mother told his father about the stranger, explaining what he had said. The father was surprised, and he could not reason what happened.
–“Can the stranger be an Israeli?” There are many parties who long to corrupt in this community of hate. This is as simple as the emotions of the human beings,” he added:
            -“Believe me I am not a member of any of these organizations, and I never thought of going on a mission because I have children. Those busters do not care about us or of the destruction they have done. I am sure that that stranger was delighted to see you suffering, hurt and in pain. Promise me never listen to a stranger,” Saeed’s father said.
            -“I know now what happens to those who listen to strangers and I will never give them joy by seeing our misery.” Saeed’s mother said.
            When his father came Saeed noticed, that his mother was wearing her best clothes. All the family was excited.
            -“Nora will have an exam tomorrow and she must study,” The mother told the father.
            -“I cannot wait,” The father said. Then he added:
            -“Let her fail. This does not happen every day. I am here only a few days every few months.”
Saeed and his father prayed Alfajer that morning in the Masjed and watched the sunrise. Saeed - for the first time - noticed that his father enjoyed something. The morning is a special moment in Islam. It includes a very important prayer that should be done exactly on time, at that moment when the sky has a special appearance. You can distinguish every star alone, nonetheless groups of stars. You can see the dew, the sunrise, and the breeze all in one moment and at once.
            -“Oh we like you Fajr. We like your verse in the Qoran. We like attending you. We like worshiping Allah at you. We are not created for slavery; we are created for freedom. We are born like that and we must continue to be like that.  Not an organization, not a party, not a government, nor can a King occupy our minds. We will defeat all of them by writing on the walls of the public W.C.s!” Saeed’s father said with a devastating irony.
The money for living is one problem. Saeed was too little for making money. His mother and father never thought of making him leave the school, but that seemed to be an unavoidable fate. They thought of it for sometime, for Saeed must do something for living one day, and that day would eventually come.
 Very few of the young have real study opportunities. They must not be only good; they must be excellent to get a scholarship. Despite everything, Saeed was interested in drawing and poetry.
Praying begins as a habit and ends as a worship and devotion. You must love and respect what you are doing. Saeed began with this habit. He regularly went to the Masjed. He built his own pattern in worship. Firstly he learnt how to pray correctly that does not come at once; there are some steps. Then he learnt what to do after a prayer.  Then what to do between the prayers. It all depends on the intent.
 Be emotionally free; do not make any tension within your body or between any two parts of it. Be part of the all. You will get everything under your fingertips once you are accepted by Allah. You should not think about acceptance; it comes by itself. There were many things to be done in the Masjed and, if you get involved, you seldom leave. It is the kingdom of Allah and the realm of the Islamic organizations. Praying is the first step.
Saeed’s mother did not find any danger in letting him go to the Masjed as every thing was obvious, or at least that was what she thought. Saeed’s family was not interested in politics and they did not talk much about it. It is not a usual subject in a conversation. It is the usual habit for an Arab family not to be involved in problems, especially if those problems will drive them to the authorities’ graveyard.
In the early nineties, Saeed as any other person in Jordan had no explicit access to Hamas. It was not usual for any person in Jordan to be a member of Hamas despite the fact that the leader of Hamas sometime later was a Jordanian school teacher! At that time Hamas was a giant child, two years old. Once Saeed asked one of the Muslim Brotherhood members what they were doing before declaring the foundation of Hamas by Ahmad Yaseen. He told him that they were eating.
Hamas activities in Jordan were closely watched by the authorities, and when it exceeded the limits, it was exiled. To reach Hamas in Jordan, one must go through the more powerful, the bigger, Muslim Brotherhood. Saeed never thought that by going to the Masjed and attending the lessons within, he would put his feet on the way with no return. In Jordan, as in many other places, Masjed has goals.
            Once a student in the university asked Saeed a question
            -“How can a member in Hamas be recognized?”
            He did not answer, and pretended that he had not heard the question. As always the situation in such circumstances, Saeed played like the other boys. He was not committed to studying or getting high marks; he tried but he failed.  His teachers were not satisfied with him.
            He had grown day by day in front of his mother’s eyes. These eyes can never forget, can never forgive. The eyes of any mother reflect care, concern, worry, forgetting and forgiveness. She is like all mothers; they share the event.
In the Masjed Rashid followed Saeed; Rashid encouraged Saeed to participate in all activities of the region. He got sure that Saeed attended all prayers on time. It is a self-driven procedure; the more you are in the more you like it. Usually it takes a year to get into the Islamic organization; Saeed’s discipline made that time shorter. In the morning Saeed sat in the Masjed to read the Almathorat, which are invocations collected by the great man Hasan Albanna. At its end there is a special invocation:
            ”O lord, you know that these hearts have been gathered with your love and met for your obedience, and united itself in your mission, so, strengthen its bond, preserve its cordiality, lead it through its ways, and fill it with your everlasting guidance”.
Many, many boys like Saeed memorized this invocation and they call it “The Invocation of the Bond”. How many times they read it in the morning and evening? It could not be counted. They were all like Saeed; they went through the same beliefs, and the same steps. They played together, laughed together, ran together and ate together. All of this seemed to them a nightmare as they grew up and   learned more about the real life, the real men, and everything man made, artificial. Only Saeed and the like, who make reason for community ambitions, make it real. They liked and respected Saeed and what he did. The fact that he was a Palestinian and Muslim caused all of this.
The basic thing to prepare somebody to be a living martyr or sacrificial victim is the curriculum which is given in the lessons of Muslim Brotherhood. They were very successful in doing that. If the curriculum was Alanfal from the holy Quran and the interpretation was from Sayyid Qotob “In the shadows of Al Qoran,” then everything is set and the hot atmosphere is prepared.
The writer of “The shadows” as “In the shadows of Alqoran” as abbreviated is a special writer; he wrote the book while he was in prison waiting for death. His death gave special dimension to every word he wrote, and that is his power, death. He wrote a sentence in his nice book “The happiness of the soul”. He wrote, “Our words are like waxy toys; when we die for them, they dance with life.”
In the early nineties, when the war against Iraq was at the beginning and Kuwait was between the jaws of Saddam, Jordan expected an attack from Israel. In secret it planned for war. In this complicated situation, the hot curriculum was introduced. In response, some of the young boys, without the permission of the Muslim Brotherhood organization went in missions against Israel. It was not easy to get a weapon and go to the borders.
Among those boys was Majed, a friend of Saeed, who was a very will known character in Alyarmouk University. He went through the borders but Israel never admitted capturing him; it was a very mysterious end for a recognized person. He was a distinguished person with great enthusiasm. Moreover, he was a very special leader; he was special because his presence gave unseen dimensions to any activity. He made things real and performed what was planned in the best way. Saeed never forgot Majed’s story, which he saw day by day.
Alyarmouk University was a backyard for all organizations; any organization that could participate was not missing the action. They all thought that they were there, but only one was controlling everything. It was not difficult to know which one, as it had not yet lost its glory. It decided the future of the students as it accepted separated students unions at all universities. They had the power and they used it. They behaved as if they were alone in the neighborhood. They are the Muslim Brotherhood.
When there was a demonstration in the university, there had been high level of alert. The boys were well organized. They cried very loudly with slogans of Muslim Brotherhood. Any person who heard them would never miss the tone. There was marching in the streets of Alyarmouk University; a very loud voice going through the atmosphere:
            -“You will never pass over our blood,” Majed never thought of that slogan, If the enemy is not to pass over our blood then we must stay alive. Where is death in that?
            -” You will never live in my home,” This slogan was obvious as every thing is set against Jews and Israel. If those conditions were not present, what would the situation be then, on whom those people will put all their discrepancies.
One day a demonstration was planned to begin in front of the science faculty. First there was an alert and then there was tension because the demonstration must begin earlier than planned. One of the Palestinian organizations, “The Public Front”, wanted to organize a demonstration at the same time.
            -“We can never lose. We must win!” Majed told his group.
            -“Our demonstration must begin earlier,” Majed gave his orders.
            There was a lot of preparation. This was not a usual or simple case. At worst, which was the nastiest, fifteen minutes before the new time a truck stopped in the location where the demonstration was about to begin. There was nothing to be done except to wait. At the prescribed time the truck lifted the place and the boys went on with the program. Five students went between the trees to change their clothes and wear masks. 
            The course of the demonstration was through the streets of Alyarmouk University. From the science faculty to the deanship of student affairs, there were a long line of rows. First came the students with masks, and then the students with signs. Then came the members of Muslim Brotherhood and they constituted more than eighty percent of the crowd. In the last place were the girls.
            The parliament member, Ahmad Tabe, who was a well-known leader of Muslim Brotherhood, was invited to attend the demonstration and give a speech. It was a traditional three-part pattern speech; an elucidation of Qoran text, which could be described as the Calvinistic doctrine although it has another name in Arabic, and the application of the text to the contemporary situation.  At the end of his speech, he asked all students to pray for all who died as martyrs. He gave his opinion that students who did not make ablution could use dust to do that. Of course there is nobody who can ask him to verify his opinion despite that he said some words to verify it, but nobody could understand these words.
With every event in Palestine in which some people are killed, you can be certain that a demonstration will be performed - and performed is meant, not held, because it is like a play. At least this was true in one of the Jordanian universities. It is a fact that demonstrations are not a routine; every one is a new one. There was no boring and tiresome routine, nor were there drawbacks. The hurry of the student's life was closing their eyes from seeing the reality, the reality that most of those leaders and recruiters were busters, especially those who raised their importance on people’s respect to themselves.
The way is very rough, Saeed chose, and his choice was apparently the best. It is not the seventies when the young boys were sent to kidnap airplanes and take hostages; it is the age of suicide bombers.  This is the age of undisguised death.
Meanwhile Saeed’s father was struggling to satisfy his family’s needs. He was a driver. He did not know what was happening back home. If the situation was different, if he gave more time to his family, it could be that the situation would be different.
            Jordan is a small country so it is easy to be controlled.
            -“We suspect that this person is working with the secret services,” Saeed told Majed.
            -“How do you suspect that? He might be wronged,” Majed told him.
            -“But he knows a lot of things, and you know what that means.”
            -“I know that one must be certain if he is to condemn others, “Majed said.
            -“In all situations we must take some action in response. Tomorrow this person will come to the book exhibition here in Alyarmouk University and we will search his bag.”
            -“That is better than defaming him,” Majed said.
            -“Tell Sameh to go to the exhibition and Sameer to go and post the signs of next week’s lecture. Ahmad should prepare himself for the next week. I do not like to repeat my orders. You know that,.” Majed told Saeed.
Saeed was the second person after Majed. Majed was the head of "The Club of Debate and Thinking." It was the strongest club in the university. Next week there would be a public debate between one of the organization's boys, Ahmad, and a girl, regarding early marriage. Majed did not choose Ahmad. Ibraheem recommended him and Ibraheem was not from the university; he was -like Saeed - from the workers in Muslim Brotherhood. Alas, Ahamd failed in the debate. Usually all the planning was done by persons not from the students’ community, such as school teachers, library owners, engineers and other professionals.
            -“We must do it neatly and smoothly; we do not want him to feel about any thing. Understood?” Majed told the persons who would search the poor guy’s bag. He deserved some pity because he joined such persons like Majed and the others.
            -“What color do you prefer, the black or the red,” Saeed asked the poor student while he was walking between the books.
            -“I recommend the black one,” the poor student replied.
            -“Then I will take the red.”
            The poor student was surprised: “Is this a joke or a mere rudeness?” he thought.
The next week there was an unplanned demonstration.
            The usual call of those boys in any demonstration is to tell others that they are there.
            -“Allah is the greatest and thanks for God.”
            The demonstration was recorded on video. In addition, the press was there. Those boys were walking without pause or halt. They never stopped for a minute and asked themselves what was going on? Why we are here? If they asked, the whole situation would be different. However, people who ask themselves that question are not chosen for such organizations. This is a typical choice for persons who might lose their minds.
            -“Are there any new orders from Abo Mohammad?” Majed asked Saeed.
            -“No there are no orders.” Saeed replied.
            Abo Mohammed is Fakher, the head of the university council in the Muslim Brotherhood.
            -“But he asked me to send some one to Dr Awad in the University of Jordan to bring the plan of the next semester from him,” Saeed told Majed.
            -“Good then send Sameh. He usually goes to Dr Awad,” Majed told Saeed.
            -“I do not know what to do. The brigade is next week and we did not prepare for it yet,” Said Majed. Majed usually had the answers, but he was now raising a question.
            -“Soon we will have income. We have collected some money from the brothers.  Also, there is the revenue of the exhibition.  We will prepare for the breakfast. I will tell Sameer to prepare it. The rest is easy,” Saeed told Majed.
            -“I hope so, I wish there would be funds for everyday activities, not only for the elections and special occasions. I think that is the limit between beggars and missioners,” said Majed.
Life is subtle. What to do and how? Many boys have no goals and find in these organizations something to achieve, a goal to seek. If Majed did not participate in this organization, he could be a schoolteacher, having a family. Now he is nobody, someone in a foreign secret jail.
 Amongst the worst things in this organization is pragmatism. This deletes all history and concentrates on the moment. Why do they leave their families and go to death?   Is it for the appraisal of the organization? Is there anything else? Another martyr, another credit?
            -“You are the Imam this afternoon,” Ibraheem told Majed.
            Being Imam is a way to force leadership among the brothers. Majed through the lessons memorized Alanfal, which is a part of the Qoran. He read it that afternoon. Alanfal is about Jehad and taking it means the highest preparation for fighting and war. After one week Majed was lost on the borders.
Majed was amongst those little fellows who participated and was given titles so that they will continue in the organization. He was from the biggest tribe in Jordan and, because of that, they were treating him as special. No one predicted that end for him, specially his family.  One day his family awakened in the morning and Majed was not there.  They searched for him and they could not find him anywhere. His colleagues in the university knew what he had done from his will, which he had left with one of them; he expected to die, but dying is better than what happened to him, to be negligible.      Someone phoned his family and told them that Majed had been lost during a mission on the borders of Palestine. Saeed was taking the same curriculum as Majed's. Saeed, as directed by his leaders, never told his family about what he was doing or taking. It is a society of secrecy. It was a cause for every body - to liberate Palestine. If he expected to go on and be accepted by the people; Muslim Brotherhood was not an exception, at least at that time. Lately Muslim Brotherhood in Jordan gave internal affairs more importance than the Palestinian cause.
            Majed’s family did not know what happened to him or where he was. His father did everything to search for him. He even talked to King Hussain,
            -“How could you be a King, and do not know where a citizen is?” Majed’s father told the King.
            All Majed’s tribe was affected. How could this thing happen?
            Majed wanted to liberate Palestine, but in his own way and by a desperate action.  He wanted to tell all his colleagues that this was the right way and none other. He never thought that he was only another one.  He was but one in a long list. Most of them are unknown; even their brothers did not give them a suitable grave. Muslim Brotherhood rule in Jordan stops feelings like that of Majed’s. It is only a part of the legal political cycle.
            -“If they want to avoid this; they should not give Alanfal in the first place,” Ayman told Saeed.
            Ayman was a leader in the Jordan University of Science and Technology and, as such, he could do many things.  Among the things he had done was to lead a group of students to every class room in the university to maintain a strike. He did so because of the attack on Iraq. At that time, the boys asked the authorities to arm them and send them to the front to fight. That request was so huge to the degree that the leadership of the organization in Amman withdrew all responsibilities from the university students, and they became in charge directly. As a result, any action would have to be referred to Amman to be taken, especially the demonstrations and strikes. They imposed a crackdown.
In Irbed city there are two universities, Alyarmouk and JUST. In these universities are many enthusiastic boys who are aspiring for good future. In the crowd, they lose themselves. They remember after a while what they are involved in and what they really want. At that moment they leave the organized work.
Saeed was not like Majed; he was different. He only followed orders. He did not invent any thing. This was a typical choice for any organization.
            -“Mother I want to go to the West Bank to search for work” Saeed told his mother.
            -“How could a person go to the West Bank to work; don’t you hear the news? I know that the situation here is very difficult and those trained animals who claim superiority are the worst. The best solution for any PM for any problem is raising the prices. Any idiot can do that. This does not need a talent, intelligent or smart person to discover it and they say that they are educated, hah,” His mother replied with wisdom of old age, although she was not that old.  The obvious thing could be seen by any fair heart.
            -“I want to go and join my relatives there,” Saeed replied.
            -“My son we want you here. If you use your hands, wherever you are, you will find work,” Said his mother.
            -“Yes, but I want to go to Galgeliah,” Said Saeed.
Saeed, neither from his mother nor from his father, had learnt how to hate. He only learnt how to love. In the nineties, the situation was tough and not satisfying. At the beginning, there were orders issued by the Muslim Brotherhood to buy weapons from the black market. Saeed was one of them; ready to be armed. Orders were released to protect the important persons in each neighborhood. Everybody was prepared for civil resistance against a probable attack by Israel. The country went through without a scratch.
            -“Israel will attack this night at ten o’clock,” Nabeeh told one of the boys.
            Nabeeh is what happened to be the future leader of the Muslim Brotherhood in JUST.
            -“Nabeeh was the sun of Ahmad Tabe. This boy seemed to be the best replacement for his father. When the people tested him at the municipality of the biggest city in the north of Jordan, he turned out to be fake and did not take the side of the public, so they abandoned him in the first election. In addition, he failed to take the trust of the people in the parliament. “
            One of the people told Saeed about the Muslim Brotherhood.  It is well known that Jordanians spy on Palestinians in the Muslim Brotherhood and the news of all go to the secret services fast and easy; they all are spyware. In the age of rising and growing democracy in Jordan, voices rise and increase in the organization to stop the elections within; a very dangerous situation which will lead to no commitment or pledge but to the persons.
            Saeed still remembers the words of that person who said:
            -“Objection to the leaders is an objection to God and they represent God.”
            After some time that person realised the truth and put a distance between him and the problems, which were rising primarily because of commitment to the leaders.  He simply quit the organization. It is only a stage and they overcame it in the appropriate and suitable time.
            Some still remember the days of that person. They were glorious, a leader in Mutah University in Karaka a city in the south of Jordan. He was a leader for all the period of his study there. He went through all obstacles except one; the steady state, the state in which stable, firm, fixed, solid, secure, sound and balanced situations must prevail. The marriage.
Saeed prepared himself to go to the West Bank. He crossed the bridge and went directly to Galgeliah. He went to his uncle's house; the family’s house, and there they prepared a room for him. He emptied his bags; took all his clothes and put them in the cupboard. He went out to a supermarket and bought a pen and a pencil. He returned to his home and went to his room.
There he stared at the wall. He tried to see something on it, or maybe through it. He began drawing lines with the pencil, carefully at the top. After that, he began to repeat the lines with the wide pen and there it was the drawing of Mickey Mouse.
            Saeed heard the call for prayer and he obeyed immediately.