The Bingo Players

By Emma Pitts

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Older single men and women have become addicted to a new kind of drug -
Bingo.  They may not willing to gamble on marriage again so they
concentrate on bingo playing.  Bingo playing is addictive and there are
the archetypes to go with the addiction.
Using drugs or alcohol a person has a hangover to show for the previous
night's efforts.  What does a bingo player have?  What do they remember?
...the woman next to me had one number to go for the big money. 
...I felt lucky last night.
...I needed better cards.

Bingo archetypes include:

The muncher...persons who get to bingo an hour early and eat, eat, eat.
By the time the games start, they can not see their cards for the crumbs
and candy wrappers.

The systemizer...persons who has to make sure they have every number.
They change cards to ensure they have the greatest range and possiblities
of numbers.

The dabber...persons who compulsively dabs  their specials until every
white space is covered.  It is messy but they feel completely secure that
every number they dabbed was called.

The hogger...persons who spend enormous amounts of money for huge amounts
of cards and specials, which by no stretch of the imagination, they can
cover.  They are usually so busy checking their cards, they forget to
yell when they DO bingo.

The ifer...Every table has an ifer.  IF only they had called that
number...IF only I had that number,,,ad infinitum.

The heckler...person who find pleasure in hooting the callers, the
numbers they call and the people who win.

The mumbler...persons who mumble inane replies to numbers called..ex: B4.
 The person would mumble "before what?"

The talker...persons who can play a block of 25 cards and carry on a
lively conversation with people sitting all around them on any and every
subject and still yell bingo without losing track of their conversation.

The contemptible...persons who have won before and consider themselves
experts.  They will tell a person they won last week in the chair they
now occupy..giving the impression that no one will win again in THAT
chair.

The winners...persons who win all the time and go back next week to win
some more.  They spend all their winnings playing more bingo to win more
money. 

Conclusion:  Bingo is addictive.

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