I Am a Chicken

Jeremy Almeida

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I am a chicken.. Obliviously not literally a chicken; what chicken can type. But my point is I'm a coward. I know, not something every guy would say about himself, but I have to be honest here. It's not that I’m all that different from most people my age, at twenty who is really looking for a commitment. Sure some people are, mostly women; but I'm guy. All the women reading this are thinking that I'm some pig who is just looking for sex, well let me just say I’m not. I want love just as much as every politically correct, in-touch-with-his-feminine-side, cry-at-a-sappy-movie-yet-still-kick-someone's-ass-for mentioning-it guy. But really, my point here is that most guys, myself included, are just not ready for love. By this point in our lives, we've gone through the "love" thing, and we've had our hearts ripped from our chest like something out of a low budget horror flick. Not that I'm bitter about this or anything, but women can be cruel. I live women, all women, there very beautiful, and more often than not, the center of my happiness. But for all that's good and wholesome about a woman there is the dark side too.

If you ask any guy, he’ll be able to tell you some story about a girlfriend breaking his heart. This little test just proves that all women have the potential for evil, and it isn’t just a few spoiling it for the rest. I know that personally I may have deserved what I got, but that doesn’t lessen the pain any. But I’m straying from my point; which is that I am a coward. Not long ago I met this great girl, and it’s sad to say but her biggest flaw is that she loved me. Now some of you are wondering if you read that right, and yes you did. Now I know that may seem wrong of me, but I won’t make excuses, I’m dumb. Love to me is like this big vicious animal, and I’m just this lost little boy who doesn’t even have a stick to fight him off with. Love tends to devour me when I find it. I’m sure some people think this is a great thing, but not me; I’ve always loved me freedom. There have been times when I have settled down believing I found someone truly great, but alas, she always ends up doing something to make me realize how wrong I was.

But once again I stray from my subject. This is not meant to be a lecture on all the evils of women, but to be about me. As I said what seems a long time ago, I am a chicken. I met a great girl, and she fell in love with me. And I must admit I was close to falling in love with her. As much as I would get aggravated by little quirks of hers, I could always live with that. The thing that scared me away was that she would actually love me back.. I know that it seems like a terrible reason for running away- and I won’t lie that’s what I did- but I just didn’t know what to do. I felt trapped all of a sudden and I could no longer live like that. It hurts me all the time to think about it. It all would have been so easier to never have heard those three little words. But alas it’s over.

I saw her today. It put a finality to it all when I brought her back her things that I had. Maybe I’ll see her once or twice more before she’s gone, but what I know is that when I held her today I didn’t want to let her go...

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