It's Life, But Not as We Know It

By Lillian Hannah


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How does someone start to explain what is as yet not fully understood.

Where do you begin?

Where will it end?

I am sitting here, 23 years old, having lived up till now an average and ordinary existence.

Or was it?

That was the question that was to be the beginning of all this. Throughout the past 23 years it seemed as though things were normal, that I was normal. What I have found out recently is that it wasn’t that way at all. I have been asking myself questions over the years. Questions that I am incapable of answering. I know now that I will never be the same as those around me. I am different, my life will be changed, but I will stay the same. In time I know that I will be able to cope with it. But at this moment in time the only thing that I have to figure out is, Why am I different?


When were the seeds of thought planted?  The things that brought all this to fruit, and why now? At this point in my life, Why me?


Even form the beginning I have been different from those around me. But, up until now had never thought myself as different.  I have an open mind, so I hope that I will be able to understand, as yet, is still to happen. Or what has begun to happen!


For all I know this is what all minds go through at some stage in their life. The thoughts that I have, and will continue to have, do, and will continue to confuse me. Maybe that is what life’s all about?


Are you confused yet?


I still don’t know where to start in explaining all this. To skim the surface would not be enough, to tell all would take to long even though I can remember vividly. The things that have happened to me over the years are unreal. Sometimes I can foretell the future, sometimes a sense of de j’avu. Sometimes I get urges to do the weirdest of things, and other times nothing.


One time I asked myself the question


                                What is Life?


And ended up with a sort of poem in front of me, If you could call it a poem. I started to write it automatically, not really realising what I was writing. It wasn’t till I had finished and was looking over it, that I realised it was a poem. It definitely wasn’t what I would have expected. Even now I have the urge to go and dig it out to have a look at it. So I will.



What is Life?


Life is an apple growing on a tree

Life is a river flowing down a hill

Life is what we give to our children

But are they ready for what’s in store?


Life isn’t just apples growing, rivers flowing

Its people crying, nations dying

Buying, Selling

Stealing, Lying



Owning, Dwelling

Trying, Succeeding

Well maybe

Don’t just Live



Thinking back on it, maybe even asking THAT question in the first place is another thing that makes me different from the rest.


Another time, I found this second hand book in a bookshop. It was called  “Robot Visions”, by Isaac Asimov. As I read it, I got a few pages into the book and found that a few sections where underlined. Before even reading it my hand sought out a pen and paper.


They came out as follows:-


1.        divine

2.        myth

3.        This proved a central theme in the science fiction stories that have appeared since Frankenstein. The creation of robots was looked upon as the prime example of the overweening arrogance of humanity. Of its attempt to take on through misdirected science the mantle of the divine. The creation of human life, with a soul, was the sole prerogative of GOD. For a human being to attempt such a creation was to produce a soulless travesty that became as dangerous as the Golem and as the monster. The fashioning of a robot was therefore, its own eventual punishment, and the lesson, “ There are some things humanity is not meant to know” was preached over and over again.


Why these things were underlined I will never know. Maybe it was just one of those things. Or, maybe it was meant for me somehow, like destiny. The whole book in fact was a revelation to me. Another section in the book aroused major travesty of thought for me.


                “ The discovery of speech introduced communication- and lies.

                The discovery of fire introduced cooking- and arson.

                The discovery of the compass improved navigation- and destroyed civilisations

in Mexico and Peru.

The automobile is marvellously useful- and kills Americans by the tens of thousands

Medical advances have saved lives by the millions- and intensified the population explosion”


Its really thought provoking when you think about it. There is an up-side and a down-side to everything. Yes things might be great discoveries, but there is always a down side.


That book was written in the 20th century, as were millions of others of the same genre. At the time it was classed as science fiction, but now a lot of it has become science fact.


Yes, Robots were built.


And over the years grew more advanced, to the point where they were built to think for themselves.


The underlined quotes in that book , I ponder often. The experiences that I have had over the years hold my thoughts too.


Cause after all, this is now the 30th Century and mankind is close to extinction through nuclear warfare.


But most of all


Why am I doing this at all?


After all






Copyright 11 January 2001             L. Hannah 






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