By Michelangelo


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I'm sure some of you have probably been spoon fed all the easy theories on the construction of the pyramid complex at Giza or for that matter any other megalithic structure around the world. I'm now going to attempt to enlighten you on the subjects and attempt to make this as boring as possible to fit author-me's strict non-fiction policies. Nonetheless I hope to dominate the nonfiction section. Here are ways to disprove the orthodox egyptological theories for all of you neophytes at the business.

Lots of dudes dragging stones on ropes- If you know basic physics that such a thing is possible if you have really strong rope and enough people, but If you know geology and you know that limestone is what 90% of the pyramid is built of you realise that limestone is quite porous and will erode with squirt. Therefore it is impossible to move an 100 tonne block of limestone without the ropes to cut into the limestone, thus causing rope scarring. There are no scars don-don.
Lots of dudes hauling blocks with assistance of logs-thats pretty simple. Egypt is a desert and their only tree is the date palm which at the time was a major food supply therefore you can't have wood. You ask can't they just trade for it with Phoenicia or take it from Lebanon. No, neither was the fourth dynasty a major trading power, nor were they a substantial militairy power. The proof of this can be found in written records and the fact that a cult sprung up around the date-palm. Bad dates.

Lots of dudes period- Lets be realistic in order to be a tyrant, even if you are a self proclaimed god you need to have militairy power. Khufu wasn't exactly Napoleon. Therefore his slaves couldn't have come from the regular population, even if they were filled with religious fervour, or wanted to imortalize their society, all the populations work world have been attempting to feed the work force, so then if there were workers they would have to be from elsewhere. As I said before Khufu wasn't exactly a Napoleon or a Ramses II so the ideo of going even over to Nubia, Canaan, or Asia Minor seems more far fetched than someone actually being as obsessed with history than I am.

Were not even going to get into ramps or anything like that today because those theories are hinged on lots of dudes working. No dudes no ramps. Oh and if you don't buy my ideas on dudes just take into account the fact that building a ramp to encircle the pyramid (pyr=fire amid=in the middle) or just a single map would by modern estimates take three times and twice as much material and effort respectively, and I haven't even gotten into the 200 ton granite core blocks in the center. Indeed the idea of the pyramids being built in 2450 b.c. is more nuts than me on a cold Tuesday. I can't help but think back to a time long ago when the world's destiny was held in the balance. 10,500 b.c. But that's another story.

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